I really did love this chapter! i love how you make adrian the perfect one and jasmine the... well... not so perfect one! it's a nice change to have the girl be the tough one! ok, you said you wanted honest critique and i really don't want people to hate on me for saying this but i didn't really like how the chapter opened... i'm really sorry but I really didn't understand it. It kinda seemed to just go on and on about malcolm ladgrabbe and it just could have been shorter. I know i'm probably the youngest of your audience (i'm 14) but i just thought i'd say since you asked! If you are another comenter reading this comment PLEASE DON'T HATE ON ME! Other than that i love your story and i'm so addicted!
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Date: 2010-03-05 03:24 am (UTC)